Winter Break

The semester is over, I am ready for the break.  I finished up this morning with a quick class in Biology and now I have a month off to relax.  One thing I noticed the past week of last classes is the way students just shut down when they know it’s the last class.  They complain about having to be there and just want the teacher to let us go as soon as they get there.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t feel like going either, but I feel I owe it to the teacher to put the effort in that they put in all semester.  Maybe that’s my age coming into play there, but I just feel that the teachers deserve that respect for teaching us all semester.

I had one of the best semesters I’ve ever had in school this past semester.  I didn’t enjoy it the whole time, but I feel I made some great strides in my writing and I feel that I made the right choice to switch my major to Fiction Writing.  Did I really learn a lot in my Biology class?  Not necessarily, but I put in a good effort to make sure I would receive a decent grade.  Science isn’t really my thing, so sitting through a four-hour class every week trying to understand Biology was rough.

Intro to Literature, I feel went pretty good.  I had a chance to learn about some authors that I hadn’t really read before and it really helped me understand my writing as well.  Then came my core classes.  CRW American Latino Writers was a great class.  Reading stories written by authors of a different culture was a very educating experience.  The instructor was great at helping us students, who had a hard time understanding some of the cultural differences, and showed us some great authors.  In this class I read one of the best books I have ever laid my eyes on.  ”The Brief Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao” by Junot Diaz is an amazing story written brilliantly.  I cannot talk well of this book enough.  I have told many that if they are looking for a story that is tough to put down, pick up this book.  My Fiction II class was a chance for me to strengthen my writing style and I think I may have done just that.  I created some story beginnings that I feel will eventually become full movements.  One story I created in this class is something I am still working on to submit to a publication that the writing department puts out once a year, so I am pretty excited.

I have one story I started in my tutoring sessions that I feel may become my first novel.  It’s an expansive story about a family and their struggles that I am a little scared to take on, but also excited about trying to see where the family is going.  It is something I will be blogging about so I can try to work out my issues with it.

Like I said before, I am glad the winter break is here, but I am also looking forward to next semester so I can continue to work on my writing style.

Three More Days

I have three more days of classes until the end of the semester.  I am not going to lie, I am really excited about having some free time.  The past couple of weeks has really been frustrating trying to get all of my work done and studied up for my one test.  Right now I am putting off writing one of my essays that has to be done by tomorrow morning and I know I am going to pay for it in the morning.  I’m not going to get enough sleep, so tomorrow in class I will be bobbing up and down trying to keep my eyes open.  I have been working on the essay for a couple of weeks, but I just can’t get it to work.  I can’t figure out exactly what I want to explain in my essay, I have started it four different times with completely different ideas each time, but nothing seems to stick.  I am hoping by putting it off until tonight and rushing myself I will be able to come up with something that sounds good, but I doubt it.

I guess I should get back to work and actually put some effort into my essay so I can maybe get a decent grade.  I am hoping to do well this semester so that way I can get some scholarships to help with tuition, but with the way nobody really wants to give money away right now I doubt that will happen.  So until the next time I write, have yourself a good week.

Been Busy

Sorry friends, I have been busy with homework and haven’t been able to post anything lately, but today I have something to blog about.  It’s a bit of a rant so please bear with me.  My issue is with the word ask, not because of it being questioning, but because of the way people use it especially when they are in a professional setting or school.  I hate it when people say axe instead of ask.  How hard is it to make sure the s comes before the k?  One thing I can’t stand is when someone in my class is reading a story I wrote and use the word axe instead of ask.  I know I spelled it correctly because I spell checked and read over my paper before handing it in.  So why is it they pronounce it the wrong way?  It really drives me crazy.  Where did people learn this, why is it accepted to use this when speaking?  Do I not know why because of my age, or are people just getting lazier when speaking and don’t want to enunciate their words properly?  I honestly think it’s because people are lazy, I know I may sound like an ass, but being around college age kids all day and listening to them talk, you definitely hear them speaking with slang and lazily saying words, slurring them and sounding kind of dumb.  But my biggest pet peeve is the word ask.  I just can’t stand it when people say it incorrectly, especially when they are reading something I wrote, because I know I didn’t write it that way.  I know that last little bit made me sound like an ass, but I just feel that we need to make sure we, as a society, don’t sound dumber and dumber every time we speak.

Now to talk about something a little brighter.  I have been working on a story for about a month now that is really starting to come together.  I am really strengthening my writing skills this semester and feel that I am finding my writing voice.  Now if people would just not say axe instead of ask I would be satisfied.  It is nice though being in the classroom with some of these kids, there are quite a few good writers in my class and it helps to be pushed to be a better writer by the writers around you.  I have gotten many ideas from the workshop sessions we have in class where we give words into the circle and place them into our story ideas, I have used many words from these sessions in my stories to make them stronger.

Well I better get back to homework seeing how I only have 3 weeks left of classes and have a ton of it.  I will try and keep you posted better in the next few weeks and will let you know if I get any of my stories published.

Winding Down

I can tell the semester is almost over.  The work load seems to be getting a little more intense and the teachers all seem to think you have all the time in the world to complete the work.  Yes I’m complaining a bit, but it’s mostly because I am stressed out right now with school.  I am trying to get of the stories I started earlier this semester into full movements and I am also working on an essay that needs to be a well crafted piece about narration.  I am starting to struggle finding time to sleep.

Right now I am trying to edit a couple of my stories.  It isn’t easy editing your own work.  I often take out to much of some stuff, but the stuff I should take out, I tend to leave in for some reason.  It’s a vicious cycle of never really editing my writing the right way.  The nice thing is I get to sit at my desk, look out the window and enjoy the wonderful weather we are having.  Sure I wouldn’t mind being outside enjoying it, but that’s not an option, so I must sit inside and watch as the sun beams through the trees.

Why

I wonder what it is that makes me want to learn?  I know this sounds like a weird question, but I just wonder why it is that I have such a yearning for an education.  Most days when I am leaving class and heading home I think about the class I just left and wish I was still there.  I don’t remember having this desire when I was younger, so I am thinking it may be because I have become a little wiser in my old age.  I doubt that it’s because I am more mature and I am sure my wife would agree with that, but there is just something inside of me driving me to achieve an education.  I love it when I’m sitting in class and all of a sudden something that we have been discussing or working on seeps into my brain.  It’s like people say, a light turns on and I can see what it is I am trying to figure out.

Today in class we were wrapping up our discussion on the book “The Brief Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao” (quick side note: this is a great book.  Read it).  and I sat there thinking about how Junot Diaz wrote the story and the way he used narration throughout and I wondered if I could pull off what he did.  I’ve been doing that a lot lately.  Reading stories and then pulling out my journal and just trying the style of the author I just read to see how it felt.  I’m not trying to copy them or steal anything from them, I just want to see where I fit in.  I don’t think I have completely found my voice in writing, so I figure it wouldn’t hurt to see how it felt to write in the different styles I have read.  This is when I start to think about my age and where I am at compared to some of the kids that are in my classes.  Many of them have found their voices and know what they want to write and most of them are in their early twenties.  Then there’s me, still trying to find my way through some of these classes and struggling to understand exactly where I fit in and often forgetting that I am at least ten years older than them.  It’s a little frustrating.

I went from beginning this entry on such a great feeling and now here I am talking about how depressing it is because I still don’t know exactly what my writing voice is.  I am actually kind of happy I don’t know my writing voice.  I get to experiment more trying to find it and often find new things about my writing style I would have never found if I already knew what I wanted to write.

Now I don’t know if I have told you where I am in my college career or not, so I will let you know now.  I am a sophomore.  Why am I bringing this up now?  Well, tonight I went to a forum about master programs.  I know I am a couple years from graduating with my BA, but I want to know what I need to do so I can dive right into graduate school as soon as I finish undergrad.  What I learned was that applying to grad school can be a little daunting, but done correctly, isn’t that bad.  I got a lot of good information and am actually looking forward to what could amount to another 3 years of school on top of what I am already doing, but that just makes me more excited.  What I plan on doing is getting a masters of fine arts in creative writing.  Where I am going to get that from is still up in the air seeing how I still have two and a half years left before getting my BA and married to a wonderful woman.  I am planning on starting a list of the top 10 programs in the nation and seeing what each has to offer and going from there.  Like I said though, I have a couple of years, so for now this is just me trying to plan out what I want to do in the future, nothing is set in stone.  The only reason I do think about this though is because by the time I get through undergrad and then grad school, I will probably be about 41.

That’s just weird writing that number out.  I remember when I thought that was horribly old.  Now I look at that age and think, that’s the beginning of my life as a college grad.  I really can’t wait, yet I want to make sure I enjoy where I am at now.  Man this entry went a little weird.  Thinking about the future and how the future isn’t that far away.  Before you know it I will be blogging about finishing up grad school and looking for teaching jobs.  At least I hope I will be looking for teaching jobs.  That’s one of my goals, to teach at the college level while still being able to write novels.  I will just have to wait and see and enjoy the life that I am leading.

Scholarship Search

It’s November 1st.  I cannot believe how fast the semester has gone by.  I guess it’s like they always say, time flies when your having fun, and I am having a great time this semester.  But of course not everything is going as planned.  I’ve been  searching for scholarships today and I’ve gotten a little frustrated.  I’ve used scholarship search engines and my school’s financial aid web page, but nothing is really helping.  I know it isn’t easy to get scholarships, but I am just getting frustrated trying to find money to help pay for my education.  I want to be able to attend next semester, but if I can’t get some money to help pay for this semester’s tuition bill soon, I won’t be able to register for next semester’s session.  It’s agonizing trying to figure out how to pay for school sometimes, especially when the money isn’t there.  I am hoping to figure out something soon so I don’t have to skip next semester and can continue my education.

On a different note, I have been doing some of my best writing lately and I am thinking the journal writing I have been doing is what has helped.  This semester I have been trying to write more in my journal.  I carry my notebook everywhere I go to make sure that if I get any type of idea for a story or anything that I think is note worthy, I can write it down.  I have been able to take a few things I have written about in my journal  and create a story out of it.  The other day during my tutoring session I made a deal with my tutor.  Earlier in the semester I had mentioned that I wanted to maybe read a story at a writer’s at lunch meeting. Well, she has held me to that and now both of us are going to read at the next luncheon for the first time.  I am a little nervous about it because I don’t like to be in front of a lot of people and I’m not the most confident in my writing yet.  I know that by doing this I could get some good feedback on my writing, but it’s still intimidating.  Hopefully I won’t make a fool of myself when I read.

Biology

I must confess.  I am horrible at science.  Right now I am trying to do my Biology homework and I can’t make any progress.  I look at the questions with a blank stare trying to comprehend what it is asking me to do.  I cannot figure it out for the life of me.  I knew I never really liked science, but this is just confirming that my brain just doesn’t work when trying to figure it out.  I am completely lost and there is no way I am going to have it done for tomorrow’s class.  I probably won’t even have it started.  I have to do well in this class to keep my GPA up, but right now it’s not looking good.  I just can’t wrap my head around genetics right now.  It makes no sense to me and when I think I am getting it I realize that I am looking at it completely wrong.

This is why I write.  It makes sense to me.  You put words on paper, construct sentences with them and create a story out of the sentences.  It’s that simple.  Why can’t science be like that?  I guess I can’t answer that question.  I do like that because I am struggling with my science homework I decide to write a little.  I would rather sit here all night wasting time writing about nothing than try and figure out the genotypic ratio of cats, or what the odds are of a woman to have a color blind son if her father was color blind and the father of her son was color blind as well.  More than likely the offspring will be color blind, but I can’t tell you for sure because I can’t figure out how a Punnett square.  I am lost.

Let’s switch gears.  My week up to this point went okay.  I feel my writing is getting stronger and I actually have a couple of pieces that I want to push farther to create a full movement out of them.  One of the stories I have started to like is a short story about a boy who wanted to go hunting with his father but is too late and then sees a monster outside.  I am writing it in a non-linear structure where the story jumps back and forth in time following the little boy and his father as they progress through the morning.  It’s been fun trying to create this story because I have never tried structuring anything non-linear.  Another piece I am working on is a parody of Franz Kafka’s “Metamorphosis.”  In my Fiction II class we had to parody four different stories so far this semester and then we had to pick one that we want to push to create a full movement and I feel my Metamorphosis parody has the most potential.  I am just hoping I am correct in selecting this piece because I was also pondering completing my other Kafka parody of “In the Penal Colony.”  I just don’t think the parody I started for that story really has much substance at this point.  Again, I hope I am choosing the right one to work on.

Well I better get back to trying to figure out my science homework so I can get to bed for class tomorrow.  I don’t need to be falling asleep in my Biology class and falling even farther behind.  Actually that’s the last thing I need.  So off to the science book I go.

Long Week

I am having a hard time trying to keep everyone updated with my blog.  I seem to be busy every night, including the weekend, and I don’t seem to have much spare time to do anything.  I don’t want you to think I am complaining, I am just kind of venting.  I have really enjoyed this semester even with all of the work I am having to do.  I enjoy all the writing and reading I have been assigned, and I am really starting to understand how to dig into stories to find out what the author is writing and figuring this out has really helped me with my writing.  I have been able to see how to develop the plot and characters in my stories.  I have also found a couple more authors that I feel are great to read and wish I would have known more about them before.

It was a long week that concluded with an exam in Biology.  The exam didn’t go well, so I am going to discuss the middle of the week rather than the end.  In my critical reading and writing class we have been reading “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao” by Junot Diaz and I must say, it is a great book.  I don’t really know exactly how to explain it, but the author has a way with narration that has been fun to try and follow.  It’s not hard to follow the story, it’s just the author switches between different narrators throughout the story.  It’s intriguing.  We have also had to choose an author to present to the class.  It’s not a typical presentation of the author’s bio and what books they’ve written, but instead we have to show what the author did with preparing to write a book, what influenced their writing and what they want to do with their writing.  It’s interesting to see what other writers have done to get themselves published and I think it will be helpful to see how other authors get themselves prepared for writing.  I have chosen the author Gary Soto for my presentation, I don’t know much about him, but from what I have found out so far he writes a lot from his childhood which is what I tend to do.

Then there was Thursday.  We had to read “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.  It’s a great story about a woman struggling her mental health and what she is going through.  I liked the story so much I decided to write about it for my midterm essay.  We have to look at what the symbolism does to push the story forward and what the significance of the symbolism is.  I am definitely looking forward to doing this assignment because I am really thinking about taking on a minor and I am leaning towards Literature.  I am not sure, but this class has me really enjoying Literature.  Something that I thought was funny in class on Thursday though, kind of made me feel like I was in middle school again.  During our discussion of “The Yellow Wallpaper” our instructor turned and asked a girl what her thoughts were on a particular part.  When I looked down the table at the girl, she looked really nervous.  She had been passing notes back and forth with the guy next to her instead of paying attention.  Like I said, when I saw this I instantly thought of middle school.  This incident made me chuckle a bit and wonder what they were thinking.  I honestly thought people would be more mature than that, but some of these kids in my classes surprise me every day.

Finally Friday.  I was hoping it would be a good day because of it being the end of the week, but it wasn’t going to be.  it wasn’t like it was the worst day ever, but I know I didn’t do well on my first exam in Biology.  It was my own fault, I didn’t study as much as I should have and honestly, science isn’t my thing.  The nice thing about this thing is that the instructor said as long as we make decent improvement from our first exam to the rest of them that she will overlook the first one when giving us our grades.  So all I have to do is make sure to study a lot more before the next one.

So now it’s Saturday and I haven’t gotten started on my homework.  Instead I have been dragging my feet updating all of you fine folk and trying to figure out how to parody “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka.  I am not having a good time trying to parody the stories  this semester in my fiction class, but I believe we are almost done with having to write parodies so hopefully I can start writing more of the things I want to write.  It’s off to work I go, I need to at least get a little bit of homework done, so I am going to stop this post at the end of this sentence.

Having a Blast

I am having a blast this semester.  I am so glad to be in classes and back to writing.  Today I got my ego stroked, and I tell you what, it felt good.  It was in both, my Intro to Lit. and my tutoring session.  The bad thing about the day though, I wasn’t feeling my Intro to Lit. class.  I almost fell asleep a few times.  I just couldn’t get into the stuff we were discussing and of course the same kids who can’t get to class on time came straggling in disrupting the class for the first half hour.  I still get irritated by people coming in late.  I understand that things come up and you get caught up in traffic or something, but it’s the same kids every time.  You would think they would learn when class starts seeing how we’ve been in session for a few weeks now.  Anyways, back to my story about my ego stroking day.

So at the end of the class our instructor was handing back some of our response papers we’ve been turning in and I received a couple with some great feed back.  She mentioned how well I was doing digging into the stories and breaking down what some of the themes and plots were.  I didn’t get all good comments on the papers of course, I did get some helpful critics about what I could do to make my responses better, but I am just glad I am actually understanding what we are reading and I am able to put it down on paper.

My tutor gave me some great feedback today.  Last week I had handed in a two page start to a story that I wasn’t to fond of, but in my session she read it out loud and told me that I had to expand on it because it was so good.  It always makes my day when someone says they want to know more about a story I have written.  The problem now is coming up with more stuff for the story so it doesn’t fall flat.  One of the nice things she told me was that I really show authority for what I am writing.  That is something I always strive for so that way the reader will trust me as an author.  I am hoping to push it further this week and hand it in on Thursday, so if it turns out pretty good I think I may post it.

This past week didn’t go the greatest for time management and that is why it has been awhile since my last post.  So I am hoping that this week goes better and I will be able to share more of my experiences in school.

Writing

I want to be a writer, but today I am struggling.  I have been working on one piece in particular and it is getting the best of me.  The story I am writing is for my Fiction II class.  We are parodying different stories this semester and it is something I am struggling with.  Right now I am trying to parody “Bartleby, the Scrivener” by Herman Mellville.  The story is a great tale about a boss and his employees and what each person brings to their job.  It’s not that simple of a story, but right now I am burned out on trying to be creative and think, that I really can’t come up with a better description.  The story has a bit of a worst job ever feeling to it, so that is what I am going with.

I have been working on it for the past three hours and only have about four written pages, which comes out to about two pages typed and I am supposed to have at least three typed up for tomorrow’s class.  I am really struggling with pushing this story forward.  I am using my time of working in a lumber yard when I was a lot younger to influence this story.  I am taking the experiences that I partook in during those few years in between eighteen and twenty-one at the lumber yard and making a story that hopefully will be a decent parody.  I don’t think I could guarantee it will be good, but I am hoping I can make something out of nothing.

The bad thing is, I have to read about three more stories for my class tomorrow as well.  I know what your probably thinking, man this guy really procastinates.  Well, your kind of right, but I have been working most of the day and I have been grappling with the story line and trying to make it complete.  I probably won’t create a complete story, I just hope to make it coherent enough that I can add to it later on in the semester.

I am just worried because the next story I have to parody is by Kafka.  I am in the middle of his story “In The Penal Colony”, and I really think that guy was nuts.  I’ve read a couple other stories of his and I really like his stuff, but man I thought I was a weird story teller.  I’ve got nothing on this guy.  It all comes down to me not being sure if I am capable of parodying in a good enough way to make it sound good.  I guess it all comes down to what the instructor thinks and if I can get out of this funk.  I will tell you this, if they do end up being any good I will share them with all of you.